


Unrequited

by Hakyeonsmelanin



Category: Kpop - Fandom, VIXX
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Ending, Sexual Tension, Unhealthy Relationships, chasang are my babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-21 18:45:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18145994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hakyeonsmelanin/pseuds/Hakyeonsmelanin
Summary: And with that, Hakyeon placed a final kiss on Sanghyuk’s forehead before leaving the room.Hyuk fell to the floor, feeling his heartshatter.





	Unrequited

The change had occurred suddenly, although unsurprisingly.

Cha Hakyeon was beautiful. It was a fact, something undeniable, something that could not be argued or disputed in any way because it simply was the truth. Cha hakyeon was beautiful- no- he _was_ beauty itself, being all soft smiles and sparkly eyes; comforting touches and warm embraces; long limbs and narrow proportions. So very beautiful.

A single glance had changed it all.

It started off innocently enough, as all things did. Hyuk couldn’t help the subtle darting of his eyes whenever Hakyeon entered the room, the need to give him his undivided attention and secretly wishing that Hakyeon, too, would do the same. It was puppy love, a sweet teenage crush that Hyuk was sure he would grow out of with age.

It was taking awfully long, though. Days had turned to weeks; weeks into months and eventually years had passed Hyuk by. He drowned silently, in the ocean of his unrequited love. The yearning crashed over him, worked away at his flesh like waves washing over rock. It was too late to let go.

The tempting form of his love offered no consolation. As he grew older, his desires grew much darker. He wanted sweetness, but sin had never sounded so good.

How naughty of him. He often wondered how the fans would have reacted, had they somehow found out. The maknae of the group, the one whose very job description relied on the most hideous of infantilisation, lived for nothing more than dirty little fantasy. His fresh faced, pre-pusbscent fans who plastered pictures and posters of his face on their bedroom walls, dreaming of surpassing the meagre status of a starlight and being something so much more, something significant like a girlfriend or a wife or a partner when all Hyuk wanted was a _cock_ down his throat.

He thirsted for it, craved it with the most insatiable of hungers. To feel another man’s touch, to have the firmness of the male form pressed up against him would have been the most unholy of heavens for Hyuk. Hakyeon’s lithe body belonged under him, on top of him, beside him and inside him. Everywhere and anywhere.

Because somewhere along the line, and Hyuk wasn’t completely sure when, Hakyeon had turned from a leader, a doting older brother, into the most delicious of the forbidden fruit.

There had never been an unrequited love so painful.

~

This choreo was almost cruel.

The tension in the room was clear, insurmountably heavy. A slower, more sensual remix of _scentist_ played in the background with even heavier synth work pounding through Hyuk’s ears, seemingly reverberating through his very bones. His body worked quickly, fluidly as Hakyeon fingers encased his own.

Jaehwan and Hakyeon’s wonderfully intimate section of the dance was incomparable to the dance break that Hyuk was to be apart of. It was smooth, delicate yet surprisingly violent sequence. Just him and his love, the way it should have been. Hyuk would have been lying if he said he hadn’t enjoyed the feeling of the older man’s hand gripping his own, staring so intensely at him. Those eyes were dark, endlessly so. He was calling Hyuk, beckoning him like a siren. 

I’ll come to you. Follow you anywhere. I want you so bad. 

The touch was fleeting, only lasting a single second. Hyuk felt electricity surge through him at the feeling of skin on skin.

He had never loved someone so much.

”One. Two. Three and four. Five and six...” he guided Hyuk through the next section of the dancebreak. The other members had left hours ago to fulfil their individual schedules, which left Hyuk alone with Hakyeon and more hungry than ever.

It was more than a dance, rather a story. Obessession, lust, danger and temptation were all prevalent themes in this comeback and the dance break aimed to show the dynamic between two individuals; the one with the beautiful scent and the perfumer, the wanton one, who craved them. It was risqué, borderline erotic and completely controversial. There were no other members who were better suited to this section of dance, Hyuk thought inwardly.

Hakyeon’s body grazed across his own, as though he was grinding down on the younger man, before abruptly turning and gripping Hyuk’s neck. They were so close, nose to nose. Hyuk swallowed down, trying to keep him composure. It would have been so easy to just pin him down and have his way with the leader.

They swayed in complete synchrony, where Hakyeon rose, Hyuk fell; where the leader moved to, Hyuk followed. They were perfect for each other.

The music died down.

Hyuk’s eyes stayed firmly glued to the other man. They both fell to the floor. Hakyeon panted, Hakyeon heaved but never once removed the dangerous proximity between them, the forbidden boundary that Hyuk wanted to cross so, so desperately. There was strange look on Hakyeon’s face, a yearning look that seemed to resonate within the deepest parts of his soul. He looked almost sad.

The older man leaned forward and pressed his forehead up against Hyuk’s. Their lips were only inches away, Sanghyuk could almost taste him already, the indulgent ambrosia he craved so deeply.

”You’ve grown up so well, Hyukkie...” the leader breathed out. Their lips grazed lightly, almost shyly.

Then he recoiled.

As though he had been burned by the maknae’s touch, Hakyeon scampered away with a quivering mouth and flushed cheeks. He stared at Sanghyuk, eyes alight with shock. The maknae could only look down sheepishly, almost ashamedly.

When he looked up, the room was empty.

~

Hakyeon was avoiding him.

It was painfully, excruciatingly obvious with how the abdundence of skinship that usually came with Hakyeon’s company suddenly disappeared. No more irritatingly tight bear hugs, no playfully harsh neck chops, no stupid kisses on his cheek when he wasn’t looking. Nothing. The airy, mellow voice that Hyuk had grown to love died down into silence and between them, no words were spoken.

The almost kiss was a different matter entirely. A shift had taken place. Their relationship had completely changed in that single moment of intimacy. Hakyeon had felt it too, he had finally understood the burning need, the overwhelming affecting that bubbled within Hyuk’s stomach for so many years. That sickeningly strong desire- almost a taboo- but he could not let it go. It was part of him now, engraved into his very being.

_”Good morning Jae, Shikkie...” Hakyeon chirped as he entered the kitchen, greeting all his members with a smile. It was typical for him to be cheery when they had early morning schedules, it was his way of pulling the team together. But then he caught sight of the youngest member, sitting so quietly. The smile dropped, an uncomfortably blank look contorting his features._

_Turning his head to the side, he pretended as though he had not seen the maknae. Hyuk stared down at the empty seat next to him, Hakyeon’s chair. Breakfast was once his favourite part of the day._

It almost seemed as though his beloved hated him. There was no obvious conflict, no violent outbursts or arguments. It was just so quiet. Perhaps that was what hurt most, the horrific ambiguity of the situation, the silence behind it all, because _ultimately_ the one he loved most could’t even bear to look at him.

Like a flower without the sun, he felt himself rot.

~

“Whatever’s going on between the two of you...fix it.” Taekwoon’s brow was furrowed sternly, lips flattened out into a line of disapproval.

“I don’t know what’s happened, myself. He’s just not talking to me.”

Taekwoon rolled his eyes, clearly uninterested.

“If anyone knows what’s happened, it’s you. Just find a way to talk to him because it’s getting unbearable now. Your own problems are your concern, but when they affect us as a group, as _vixx,_ that’s not okay.” Hyuk could understand the frustration in his hyung’s voice.

Their dance break section had taken over two hours to practise, dragging on the process of creating the performance itself. Hakyeon kept on making small mistakes, he lacked the precision that characterised the dance style that had given him notoriety. Hyuk, on the other hand, had memorised the choreo down to every last tap of the toes. It was his panicked expression and unnaturally stiff movements remained the topic of criticism. It was hard to dance with someone who couldn’t face you.

They used to flow like water with each other, like gentle stream on a summers day, so freely. What had happened to them?

_”Everyone, get out. We’ll pick this up tomorrow. For now, just rest and practise vocals instead.” The leader’s tone was raspy, utterly disappointed._

Ultimately, Hakyeon had dismissed everyone early and stayed alone in the practise room, finding solace in his own company. A sudden rush of anger burst through Hyuk. He had been wronged, he had been so grievously harmed.

”I’ll fix this.”

I want you. I will have you. You are everything. 

Marching into the practise room, Hyuk mustered up all the strength he could. Hakyeon, who he desired so badly, kept his eyes on his phone, scrolling with a bored expression. Was Hakyeon- his Hakyeon- that disgusted by him?

”Look at me.” He stopped in front of Hakyeon, speaking so loudly, so clearly, that he was even surprised by himself.

Hakyeon hummed in acknowledgment. He didn’t look up though.

Crouching down in front of him, Hyuk ignored the pounding in his own heart. He spoke now in a flatter, deeper tone. “Cha Hakyeon, look at me.”

The leader froze, even if was just for a second. Then he lifted his head. Skin that was usually so beautifully tanned had suddenly come to possess an unhealthy pallor, as though he was made of thin, filmsy paper. His eyes were sunken, lined with dark purple hues and fatigue. There was a distinct emptiness in his expression, Hyuk couldn’t tell if he was tired or had lost the will to live.

He waited for Hyuk to speak. There were no words. The older man rolled his eyes upwards. “Is that all?” His voice was curt and he crossed his arms annoyedly, as though Hyuk’s very presence was a burden. As though he hated him. Hyuk could see the strain in his face, the light tremor of his fingers. This was all an act, it had to be.

”We both know it’s not. Why are you avoiding me?”

A pause. Then he reached over and ran his fingers through Hyuk’s hair. 

”I’m not avoiding you.” 

Hyuk pushed the older man’s hand away. How low a blow, to prey on his affections. He wouldn’t allow himself to be manipulated. “You’re forcing yourself to touch me! Just be honest. What did I do?”

A momentary look of surprise lay on his features before he blinked his tired eyes, pulling his lips into a flat line. Sighing lengthily, he stared down at the hand Hyuk had touched. “It wasn’t you. Just go home.”

”Stop talking in riddles! I told you- just be honest with me!” He felt his temper flare, looking back at his dreadfully unresponsive love.

Perhaps there was nothing left to salvage.

”What do you _want_ me to say?” Hakyeon hissed, his eyes narrowing in annoyance. 

Hyuk felt as though he would explode, a dull throbbing beginning to appear at the back of his head.

”Everything! I just- I want you to tell me the truth. Why are you running from me? _What did I do?”_

The leader clenched his jaw, his entire body tense. The gracefulness that was built so deeply into Hakyeon’s being was no where to be seen. He was stiff, still- unnaturally so. As though he was restraining himself.

Set yourself free.

”I’m not running from anything, I’m doing my job and I’m sorting my priorities out- something you should be doing as well.” Hyuk never thought such a ragged, abrasive voice could come from those sweet lips.

He felt his resolve crack, like thin glass under immense pressure. What would it take for him to break, to collapse?

”You’re my top priority.” The older man’s breath hitched as these words, the overwhelming sense of sincerity in them, even if it was only for a fraction of a second. He quickly gained his composure, sitting up straighter with a rigidness that Hyuk could only describe as intimidating.

A snarl twisted the leader’s lips, it sat uncomfortably on his face, like an ill-fitted suit.

“You just want a reaction from me, don’t you? You want me to open up and tell you all my feelings and cry on your shoulder but it’s not going to happen. You need to _grow up, Sanghyuk,_ and fast.” Typical Hakyeon, he had to make it a lecture. Anything to hide from his true feelings, from himself.

__

”...If that’s what fixes this, then why not? You’ve been off with me since that one practise-“ Hakyeon gripped the younger man’s hand and squeezed in warning.

__

_”Don’t.”_

__

Hyuk felt his heart break.

__

”...We almost kissed! I can’t ignore it anymore!” He shouted now, screamed even, at the top of his lungs. Pent up rage, loneliness, yearning and need all collected in Sanghyuk’s eyes, his vision began to blur.

__

Hakyeon scoffed dismissively. “What kiss? You’re imagining things. Just go home, do as I’m telling you.”

__

Something in Hyuk snapped at those words.

__

Strong, heavy arms gripped Hakyeon and he flew forward, smashing into the concrete wall behind him. The maknae’s eyes gleamed like molten lava. Hakyeon had never seen a sight so beautiful.

__

”Don’t patronise me! I’m not a child anymore!” He grit out, the veins in his neck popping out visciously. Hakyeon was still.

__

”So stop acting like one then. I’m not responsible for your delusions.” His voice was bored, devoid of any emotion.

__

Droplets of silver began to trickle down from the corners of Hyuk’s eyes. He felt so drained, so rejected.

__

”I love you.” The words fell from his mouth all too naturally. Hakyeon inhaled sharply, lip beginning to quiver again. Hakyeon said nothing.

__

”I said, I love you! I love you, Hakyeon!” Hyuk repeated the words, manoeuvring his hands so he was gripping his lover’s dark tufts of hair. Despair and stoicism were quite possibly, the worst combination.

__

”...I know.”

__

He leaned in close, they were nose to nose once more. Hyuk breathed in his scent, a musky and earthy fragrance. How long had it been? How far had Hakyeon strayed from him?

__

“You love me too, don’t you? Don’t lie to me, Hakyeon, I can’t take it.”

__

A ghost of a smile played on Hakyeon’s lips, his eyes looked glossy, his eyelashes wet with unspilled tears. They stood in silence for a few minutes before the older man spoke, his voice filled with poignant sonority. “...I do.”

__

Hyuk stared at his beloved for a moment, just to take in his features. The delicacy of his facial structure, those high cheek bones and feline eyes- Hyuk would have died, had he not looked at this face again.

__

”You fucking prick.” Was all Hyuk could muster, resting his head in the crook of Hakyeon neck. His grip loosened, and somehow his lover’s arms swept across the broad expanse of his back. The embrace was tight and painful, they could barely breathe.

__

_This is paradise._

__

“You think I don’t want to look at you? You think I don’t want to be with you?” Hakyeon drew backwards and cupped the maknae’s face. “You’re my life. You’re my everything.”

__

”So take me.”

__

A dry, ghastly laugh sounded from Hakyeon. It was so deep, so full of anguish that Hyuk’s eyes began to sting with tears again.

__

”You’ll never be mine, Sanghyuk.” 

__

And with that, Hakyeon placed a final kiss on Sanghyuk’s forehead before slipping out of his arms and leaving the room.

__

Hyuk fell to the floor, feeling his heart **shatter.**

__


End file.
